Ep.13: Unpacking the Endless Learner Syndrome

Episode Transcript

Endless learner syndrome

Welcome back to the Wisdom Practice Podcast. Today's episode I'm really excited about sharing — it may even be the most eye-opening one you listen to if you're in this situation. If you're anything like me, you love learning. There's just something about gaining a new perspective, trying to understand or problem-solve something, applying it to your life to make it better or easier, absorbing new information — you always have a curious mind.

So you may have tons of courses or books on your shelf, half of which aren't read yet, but it's okay, because you know one day you'll get there. Even with courses it doesn't really bother you, because you know you fully intend to do this, it's just not the right time yet.

A gap between what you know and your life

But do you also feel like there's a gap between what you know and your life? A gap between how you see yourself and how others see you? You know all this stuff, you feel like you know what you're talking about and can apply it to your life, but your life isn't where you thought it would be. The people teaching you these courses have become successful in whatever area it is, and you're learning everything they've done, but there's still a gap, and it's frustrating and confusing.

I think the biggest thing is confusing — you don't know why. You're applying the things, making your routines better, learning about biohacking or how to eat better or sleep better or work out better, and your life is getting better, but you're not where you thought you'd be. So if you feel like you're in this position — you love learning, the potential is there, but it's not moving your life in major ways, only small ways, you're getting more efficient at the things you do, but the big changes you want, the dream life you want, it's not getting you there — even though you think it's the skills, the tools and the knowledge you need, whether it's making money, getting into a relationship, or healing your trauma.

If you're in this situation, you have what I call endless learner syndrome. Before I say anything, I understand — it's okay, because everywhere you turn everyone's saying read the books, do the courses, absorb as much as you can, work on yourself more than you work at work. It's very common in the personal development industry, and you're doing all those things, and it makes sense — the more you learn, the better your life gets. But then if it's supposed to work, why isn't it working, at least in the ways you want it to? Your life is getting better in certain ways, I'm not denying that, but it's not moving the needle the way you want.

So this episode is really going to delve into this and help you understand what you have to do, help you bridge the gap between what you know and what your life is like. Because if your life was a mirror of what you knew, your life would be incredible — the stuff you learned, the understanding you have, if that were mirrored in your actual life circumstance, you'd be more than fulfilled. So there's something missing. Stay tuned, and I'll tell you exactly how you can overcome that gap.

Closing the gap changes your behavior at a fundamental level

When you get out of this endless loop of learning, the gap between what you know, the abundance you have in your mind, and what you want your life to be like, gets smaller and smaller. You'll find yourself learning things at a deeper level — it's not just affecting what you know and your confidence because you feel like you know more, it's affecting the behaviors you make at a fundamental level, not just small superficial changes like rearranging your room to feel productive. It will influence your decisions in a way that can actually change your life and get you to where you want to go, rather than staying in this loop of frustration where you keep learning and applying but nothing changes and you don't know why.

This episode is specifically for people who are applying what they're learning but are still finding a gap — it's just not hitting the mark, not moving the needle, not working. If you're struggling with applying things in the first place, I completely understand that's a difficult thing to start with. This episode will still help you, but I'll make a specific episode on how to get some momentum in the first place. For now, if you're trying to apply things and it's just not working, there's normally a reason why.

Normally this gap shows up more when you're trying to do something you've never done before, applying knowledge that's well outside your identity, outside what you know yourself to be or what you've done in the past — and this is what causes the resistance. If you're trying to implement a new diet and you've done that a thousand times, there's a good chance you won't feel any resistance, you can learn something online and apply it into your daily life just like that. But if you're trying to start an online business, make more money, learn to market, and you've never done that before, that's where resistance comes up, because it's outside your scope, outside who you know yourself to be — and this is where beliefs kick in.

The illusion of competence

I'm going to use the example of starting your own business — something you've never done before, and it's just not giving you the result you want. One of the biggest pitfalls of being in the endless learner loop is the illusion of competence. If you're learning to start a business, you may have done course after course, read the books, listened to the podcasts, and by all accounts you know everything these successful people are teaching you. It feels really good, it feels like you know what you're talking about — if someone asks, you could list out step by step what to do, you'll be fine.

But when you start applying it, it's not just your knowledge that's the factor — it's the beliefs you have around using that knowledge, and the resistance that comes up because of that. In your head you may know exactly step one, two, three, four of creating a product, but when you start doing it, you're not only dealing with the knowledge, you're dealing with the beliefs and fears around it — what if no one likes it, what if I don't actually know what I'm doing, what if my family starts judging me. Those beliefs tank your outcome, and you start wondering: I know all this stuff, why can't I get the same results? That's what really creates the frustration, the confusion, and frankly the disappointment — you've learned all this stuff but it's just not working, and it makes you want to apply less and less, because the disparity between what you know and the outcome keeps growing, and it becomes more painful to act on it because you have to deal with these emotions.

Fear isn't logical

I mentioned in a previous episode how strong your beliefs are when it comes to your actions — I'll briefly go over it again because it matters here. If you have a fear in the way of doing something, like you're trying to create a product and there's a fear that says what if no one likes it, what if it's not good enough — on the conceptual side you know exactly what needs to go into an offer to make it successful, you've learned it from the courses and you're confident in that. But fear isn't logical, it's emotional.

So when you start applying and that fear comes up, the reason it tanks your ability to make decisions and get results is because the beliefs you have affect your state. If the thought comes up that says, actually, I don't know if you can do this, your emotional state takes a dive — you go from hopeful, happy and curious to anxious and fearful, and the actions you take when you're fearful and anxious are extremely different from the actions you take when you're hopeful or curious. Even what you consider possible is different in those states, and you don't see it, because when you're fearful your stress levels go up and your perspective narrows. You make decisions based on those fears, wonder why you don't get the result, and that reinforces the belief that caused it in the first place — that maybe you can't do that, maybe you're not good enough, even though by all accounts you have all the knowledge it takes to be successful.

Your emotional state is the road to your resources

So the important distinction is: you may have all this knowledge, all these resources in your head, but your emotional state is the road to get there. Your emotional state determines how much of those resources you have access to in that moment — when you're stressed, that road gets cut off, there's roadworks, you can't get through. It doesn't matter how much you know, you just can't get there.

If you've ever heard of the yips in baseball — someone who's played their entire life and suddenly, because of something, can't do the most basic thing — they lose the ability to access their resources. It's not that the resources aren't there, it's that they have a psychological block to reaching them. So the next time you start applying something and feel like it's not working, know it's not because you don't know enough — don't resort to learning more, thinking the only way around this is more knowledge. That actually makes it worse, because the more knowledge you gain, the bigger the gap between your vision of what's possible and your actualization of it, and you feel worse because there's even more you're not implementing.

Learning as comfort, not progress

So ask yourself: are you learning as a comfort, an illusion of progress to make you feel like you're progressing, when actually it's more of a comfort to fall back into — yes, I conceptually feel like I'm learning and making progress and getting the life I want, but you're not actually acting on it? That's a big realization to make.

So the question is, how can we act on it effectively and get results? The answer is annoyingly simple but difficult to do, because it involves putting your ego and your pride aside for a second and being willing to fail — not because you don't know enough, but because you have to first work with the emotions in the way and overcome them, so you have access to the resources you've already learned. Because your emotions are the block: when you start applying and those thoughts come up saying you can't do this, your emotions take a dive, and that affects your confidence that it'll work, and then you may even self-sabotage — take half-hearted action so you can tell yourself and justify to yourself, yeah I tried, it's not my fault, or I knew it was going to fail.

It takes a lot of courage to put everything you have into an action and not be sure if it's going to work, and then, when it doesn't, to have the humility not to take it as an insult to your pride but as a realization that it's not that you don't know enough, it's that you have more emotional blocks on this path than you thought — not intellectual blocks, emotional blocks.

This is huge in my opinion, because no one teaches this. The industry norm is: if it doesn't work for you, go learn some more, and when it doesn't work again, try to learn some more — and it actually makes things worse. So how do you fix this?